About P T Saunders

I'm a fifty-five-year-old ex-serviceman who suffers from PTSD as a result of my abusive childhood and my military service with the Parachute Regiment and other Special Forces units. I served in Northern Ireland and was also involved in the Battle for Mount Longdon in the Falklands War 1982, where I witnessed and experienced some very dark moments.   In November of 2011, my PTSD made my life unbearable to the point that I attempted to take my own life. Luckily, though, for me, I had a great GP who immediately arranged for me to spend a couple of nights in my local psychiatric unit. However, my condition was so bad that it was eight weeks before I was discharged.
I travelled the twenty-four miles back to my flat via a bus and a six-mile walk. to discover that my car had been written off and my flat broken into and ransacked.
At that point in late January, I packed a bag and headed to Carlisle with the sole purpose of hanging myself.
The night before I was going to hang myself, I had a terrible nightmare. In which I did go to the very spot that I had selected that day and tried and failed spectacularly to kill myself.
My nightmare was so bad that I sought help from the Carlisle psychiatric team the following morning.   In 2014, my psychiatrist suggested that if I were to write about my life experiences, it might help me with the self-healing process. 
In December of 2016, I self-published my first book, “Cupboard Boy." This book chronicles my earlier physical and mental abuse as a child. Whilst writing this book, I found that my nightmares and my suicidal thoughts were blocked out by my every growing passion to write and bring about child abuse awareness.
Since that first book, I still have nightmares and still have the occasional moment when I question “Is my life worth living?”. But now, ten years on, when I feel this way, I simply write a new book.
So far, I have written ten books. three of which have gotten me through this lockdown.
I highly recommend writing as a form of self-help therapy.